The Invisible Cage

Have you locked yourself inside an invisible cage?

Do you find yourself with any of these thoughts running in your brain?

• I’m not good enough.

• I can’t.

• I’ll never get this done.

• People like me shouldn’t do that.

• This isn’t fair.

• I don’t have time.

All these little sentences are the bars and locks to our very own personal cages that keep us stuck from doing things in our lives. You see we often believe these stories we tell because we have repeated them to ourselves over and over and over again.

But repetition does not make something true, right or perfect - it simply means it is something that has been repeated multiple times. That’s it.

Listen if we aren’t examining our thoughts on a regular basis and calling out our brains we are missing out on opportunities for growth. Our brains like to try and keep us safe. That’s the job of our brain and it does that by conserving as much energy as possible and keeping us INSIDE the cave, figuratively speaking, where it’s safe. Out there in the world it’s a dangerous place! Didn’t you KNOW that?!

Here are some ways to begin to unlock the doors to your invisible cages:

• Who told you that you weren’t good enough?  Some kid on the playground in second grade? We are 50 now, we were 7 then. It probably wasn’t true in second grade and it certainly doesn’t matter now what some 7 year old thought of us over 40 years ago. Let it go.

• You can’t?  How often have you tried? Why can’t you? Who says? So what? What’s stopping you? What small steps can you take today towards what you want to accomplish?

• I’ll never get this done.  How important is this? Does it all have to be done right now? I’ve been able to meet my deadlines in the past, what makes me think I won’t be able to meet this one? What’s the worst that will happen if I don’t get everything done? Again, what small steps can you take today towards what you want to accomplish?

• People like me shouldn’t do that.  Who says? Show me where the rule is written that says you aren’t allowed to do this. There isn’t one, right? Try and see what happens.

• This isn’t fair.  Sorry brain. Nowhere is it written that life is fair all the time. Talents aren’t equally distributed, bad things don’t only happened to ‘bad’ people - this is real life. It’s 50/50. Sometimes things are fair, sometimes things are unfair. We have to learn to work with what we have.

• I don’t have time. Yes you do. How much time do you think you spend each day scrolling social media? Or if social media isn’t your thing maybe it’s watching the news or shopping. Now I’m not saying we all don’t need time to decompress but there is a difference between choosing HOW you want to decompress with something you enjoy or your day simply slipping by and you not doing anything you really wanted to do. You do have time you just don’t always choose to spend it wisely.

In short, question you brain. It does not always have your future best interest in mind - YOU DO. Remember you are in the driver seat - not your brain.

I’m a life coach who helps women learn how to thrive while supporting a loved one with depression. I am someone who will -

• Hold a compassionate, safe space for you to share your thoughts and feelings.

• Provide you an extra pair of eyes on your brain to increase your awareness of your thoughts.

• Teach you an alternate way of thinking when the ways you have been thinking in the past no longer serve you.

• Believe you can get the outcomes you want in your life and even when you don’t believe you can.

• Challenge you to dream bigger and step into the future version of you.

• May say things you won’t want to hear but will always say them with love and compassion.