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One of the most challenging parts of healing from an emotionally abusive relationship is recognizing that emotions like anger and pushback aren't enemies. They can actually be powerful allies in your journey toward emotional freedom.
If you've ever been in a situation where setting boundaries resulted in conflict or someone blaming you for being the one who is causing the problem, this post is for you. Let's dive deeper into why pushback and anger can be signs that you’re growing stronger.
Pushback Isn’t a Sign of Failure—It’s Proof of Growth
When you start standing up for yourself—whether that means saying “no,” setting boundaries, or simply protecting your emotional well-being—it’s normal to encounter resistance. This pushback might come in the form of guilt trips, the silent treatment, anger, or accusations from the person who has been benefiting from your silence or compliance.
At that moment, it’s easy to feel like you’ve done something wrong. But here's the truth: Pushback means you’re breaking old patterns. People who are used to you being compliant might react strongly when you finally assert yourself. That doesn’t mean you're making a mistake—it means you're creating new, healthier boundaries and eventually newer healthier relationships.
In emotionally abusive relationships, the person in control often resists change because it threatens their hold over you. When they push back, it’s confirmation that you’re stepping into your own power and reclaiming your voice.
Instead of seeing pushback as a setback, try to view it as a sign that you’re getting healthier and stronger. Each time you stand up for yourself, you are reinforcing that your boundaries and emotional well-being matter.
Anger Can Be Your Friend—If You Listen to It
Many women in emotionally abusive relationships have been taught to deny their anger. Maybe you've heard phrases like, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Over time, you may have internalized these messages, believing that your anger is unjustified or a sign of personal failure.
But what if I told you that anger is a constructive emotion? When we listen to our anger, it becomes a guide, showing us where we’ve been wronged or where our boundaries have been violated.
Anger is often the heart's way of saying, “This isn’t okay.” Instead of pushing it down or denying it, what would happen if you honored your anger? What would your anger say if you let it speak? Perhaps it would tell you that you deserve to be treated with respect, that your feelings are valid, and that you have the right to protect your emotional space.
When we ignore our anger, it can become destructive—either exploding outward in unhealthy ways or turning inward as self-blame which leads to depression. But when we listen to it, anger helps us identify where change is needed and how we can protect ourselves moving forward.
You Deserve to Be Heard
Your boundaries, your anger, and your pushback are not signs of failure. They are signs of growth, strength, and the beginning of a new chapter in your life—one where you are valued, respected, and heard. The journey isn’t easy, and it’s often filled with resistance from others, but each step you take is one toward healing and emotional freedom.
You are worthy of respect, love, and kindness. Keep going, even when it feels hard.
Pushback and anger are part of the necessary process of reclaiming your life and your voice.
Reflection Questions
As you consider your own journey, take a moment to reflect on these questions:
When have you experienced pushback after setting a boundary, and how did it make you feel?
What has your relationship with anger been like? Do you tend to deny or embrace it?
How can you begin to see pushback as a sign of personal growth rather than a setback?
What is your anger trying to tell you about your emotional needs and boundaries?
What small step can you take today to honor your feelings and protect your emotional well-being?
If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, know that you don’t have to do it alone. You deserve support, and there are resources available to help you reclaim your voice and live a life filled with respect and love.
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