.png)
Most of us know the classic fairy tale, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". It's a story about a young girl named Goldilocks who ventures into the forest and discovers a house belonging to three bears. Inside, she finds three bowls of porridge, three chairs, and three beds. She tastes the porridge, sits in the chairs, and lies in the beds, until she finds what is "just right" for her.
But did you know this story can teach us something about boundaries? When we’re learning to set boundaries, we often swing from one extreme to the other. Our boundaries might be too soft at first, then too hard, before we find the balance that feels "just right" for us.
So, how do we start finding boundaries that work for us? First, we need to recognize what soft and hard boundaries look like. Here are a few examples:
Soft Boundaries
-We overshare information about ourselves or others.
-We neglect our own needs and prioritize the needs of others.
-We become overly involved in the lives of friends and family, blurring personal boundaries.
-We struggle to say no.
-We tend to be people pleasers.
-We need feedback from others to make decisions.
-We fear rejection.
-We accept mistreatment.
Hard Boundaries
-We never share anything.
- We avoid being vulnerable.
- We cut people out of our lives.
- We have high expectations of others.
- We think in all-or-nothing terms, seeing things as black and white with no gray areas.
- We enforce strict rules.
Finding the balance between too soft and too hard is key. Just like Goldilocks, it might take use some trial and error before we eventually find what is "just right" for us.
Spend some time this week reflecting on whether you see yourself fall into either of these categories. Which examples of soft boundaries do you recognize in your own behavior? How have these impacted your relationships and personal well-being?
Need some help setting boundaries to create healthier relationships in your life? Schedule a time to talk. Your first 30 minute session with me is FREE!
Comments