Want to know some of the telltale signs that you are in a crazymaking relationship?
The things that point to - is it’s a relationship problem and not a me problem?
Here’s the list:
You obsessively try to control other people
Allow others to use you
You are reacting rather than responding
You can only see what is right in front of you and don’t plan for the big picture
Constantly worry, worry, worry
Ignore your own feelings
Know what everyone else wants and feels better than what you want and feel
Expect perfection from yourselves and others
Judge yourself and others critically
Compulsively take care of other people and don’t know how to take care of yourself
Don’t know how to have FUN
Don’t know what you like
Always focus on what is wrong
Avoid conflict at all cost
You may be thinking that you are not enough or what you do is not enough. That you don’t matter or what you do for your family doesn’t matter. That your feelings are wrong and no one respects you. You find yourself constantly taking on someone else’s problems.
And here are some of the unspoken rules that may exist in your relationship:
don’t speak about what is going on inside the relationship
don’t show your feelings, especially anger - usually only one person in the relationship is allowed to be mad and it’s probably not you
work super hard, don’t rest, don’t mess up, and be perfect all the time
set unrealistic expectations and then tear yourself down when you aren’t able to meet them
Does this list make you stop and think? Are you stuck in a relationship and not sure if it’s a relationship problem or a partner problem? Let’s schedule a time to talk and see if we can get you unstuck.
Comments